I Am Writing A Book

Involving the book I kept contemplating on doing. I stopped pondering, and started writing. My voice still must ne heard not only online, but why not worldwide? As I learned so much on my journey into spirituality (Paganism). I plan to write on all that I learned in the few years. The introduction was easy to formulate. The first chapter was tedious because I was not sure how to go about putting the different pieces of my story together. At long last I decided to name it "Why I Chose Paganism".

My book I really want to captivate the audience. Draw them in from all over. Tell them my story, and everything I learned on my journey as a Shaman, a Warrior, and from my Spirit Guides, Gods and Goddesses. They all helped me to overcome my own personal demons. One I still struggle with. Which involves me bringing up the past. When it does not need to bw brought up. Except under certain circumstances. My husband taught me this. Only the most skilled Shamans can go back to their past to obtain energy needed to put themselves back together now. They lost energy to those in particular situations they didn't mean to lose energy to.

I for one thing learned to take back my power all of it. Nobody deserves mine unless I know they will actually use that power. People will learn so much from my book. I worried about writing a book similar to other authors. Yet what is so wrong with that. As long as I find my own style. Nothing is going to end up similar to other authors. Because I know other writers form their own style. Once they see people enjoying what they wrote. They will keep to that same flow, and maybe add a twist here or there.

It feels so great writing something that will one day be mine. I will see it on Amazon Kindle, Nook, Barnes and Noble etc. It is super exciting too.

Still Inspired To Write A Book...

Ever since I started my blog. I always felt this pull towards writing a book. I am a person who loves sharing my experiences with others. Explaining how I performed certain types of magick, how I discovered who I am, what my purpose is. There is so much that ties into my journey. People can take my experiences however they want. Some people can learn from them, others can share my journey with others.

As for writing a book I am focusing on my focal point. This point which can draw you in and keep eyes there. Until the story ends and people are thirsty for more. Everybody's journey is different, my husbands journey is different from mine, and my sons is also different too.  Nobody wants to hear the same story over and over from different authors. Each author has this spark that defines who they are. They may write the same genre as other authors, but something differs from every other story known to fans of sci-fi, non-fiction, fiction, biography etc.

People write fan fictions about Youtubers because they have this creative side that says "Let's do this!". If everybody could write a book imagine how many interesting, adventurous, and unique stories we can collect. I am a collector of books there are books that catch my eye, others that sound odd, even some I enjoy taking adventures through. Yet writing is different because I don't want to sound cheesy or unoriginal. My voice I need to be representing what I have been doing. Telling a story to teach others to do this for their life. Make extravagant changes to improve themselves, their life, and those around them.

Catching Them All Is The Toughest Job Ever.... Literally...

For a couple of months now I have been playing Pokemon Omega Ruby. This is the first official Pokemon game of my life. When I was a young girl I watched the television show. Although I never did play the collectible card game like my cousin Travis did. Collecting things is very euphoric because there are some cards which were harder to find than others. In the game you practically have your Pokedex which collects information about every Pokemon you captured. If it is Pokemon you come across when battling another Trainer/Gym Leader it gets recorded in your Pokedex but the information about the Pokemon is never known. Not until you either catch your own, or trade with other players from around the globe.

I have a lot of fun playing this game. There are many Pokemon of various classes. Omega Ruby before completing  the main mission which is to find Groudon, and capture him before he activates Primal Reversion. If Groudon enters Primal Reversion everything in existence gets incinerated by fire. There are Pokemon you can discover across the region of Hoenn. After you capture Groudon and save Hoenn, different species of Pokemon are reborn again. This is when you get your Pokedex updated to the National Pokedex. The National Pokedex records all of the newer Pokemon throughout the entire region not until after completing the Groudon mission. It also includes the Legendary Pokemon which can only appear whenever you use the Eon Flute to call your Latios/Latias. These two Dragon Pokemon fly you directly above Hoenn where you can find secret undisclosed islands where Legendary Pokemon are hidden.

I caught quite a few Legendary Pokemon so far. The Legendary ones are so much more cooler looking than the regular ones, but some of the ordinary Pokemon have their own pizzazz too. Catching some of these Pokemon require you to do a special move in an area to find some of the other Pokemon. Others take longer to find like the Plusle. Plusle in Omega Ruby was planned to be the hardest to find, and the most rarest. The same goes for the Alpha Sapphire game you get a lot of Plusle's, but Minun is super hard to find unless  Sweet Scent or Honey is used. Ditto and Eevee are also present in both Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. Ditto can only be found in the Mirage Cave and Mirage Island. Eevee can be found on Route 106. I did notice after capturing a majority of Pokemon in the game it takes FOREVER to find those which you had not come across before. Silcoon cannot be found though it can be evolved into one after befriending Wurmple. An evolution of Eevee works the same way where you need to befriend her so she can evolve.

There is some more information I would love to go through with this game. It could take me a couple of days to go through it all. Catching them all is such a taxing job to undertake. It sometimes takes hours. Luckily I have not tried finding one particular Pokemon for that duration.

If I Have to Travel By Myself, Then You Will Too...

Last week up until last night the love of my life was mentioning again how he would like for me to travel to my home state after the holidays so my mom could see our son. He said he was definitely up for going but has to work, although he could ask to use his vacation days. He just chooses not to except for when he goes to Standing Rock, North Dakota for the protests. At first he didn't want me or our son going with him, because he was not sure what would happen the couple of days he is there. Then I ask if he could think about it some more. He does and finally tells me he wants me to go including our son. Then everything with that was settled. Next thing he brings up is going to see my mom. Originally the plan was next summer he can use some of his vacations days to go out to North Carolina with me. See my mom and my sisters have them meet the baby. Then we come back a couple of days later. 

This plan was completely fine. Until he tells me "Well I am thinking you could go out there with the baby, and stay a week then head back here. That way she can see him before he gets bigger." I am like "He is already going to be bigger by next summer anyway. We can just go when summer time comes again." Now the love of my life wants me to go out there after the holidays. In February or March. He said it was my decision on what I want to do. I tell him and he keeps pushing me to go after the holidays still.

This is the part of the relationship I have with him, which becomes a pain in my ass. I am planning to just tell him he can go to Standing Rock by himself since he is shipping me off to North Carolina by myself. If he can do something by himself, then he wants me to apparently. I have been alone without him before. It wasn't that big of a deal. I know he is going to call or text me saying he misses me SO much, and wished he would have gone with me. Which is such bullshit. He tells me he really wants to but can't because of work. He gets paid vacation days so not sure why he chooses to work still. :/ If he wants it to be over then I am right here ready to take the punch. 

May as well just go to NC and stay there forever.

Attack on Titan Xbox One Game

I absolutely love the anime series. Looking forward to Season 2 coming out. Recently me and the love of my life bought the game. At first the controls were hard to get use to, because you have to press the RB button to lock onto, then press the X button to attach your anchor to the Titan, and press A to speed up your attack, then pressing Y to attack. You practically have to make pressing these buttons in unison a habit. After you play the game for a while you get use to the major button pressing. Each time I try watching the anime I end up having to go play the game. In the anime there are characters like Jean Kirstein, Armin Arlert, and even Sasha Braus who have their own unique personalities. Yet you never fully see them fighting Titans. When you are playing Expedition Mode you can choose any character that is included with the game and Jean, Armin, and Sasha are included. Even if you were not able to see them at their best in slaying Titans. You have the chance to change that by playing the game.

At first when you begin Attack Mode you switch between characters such as Eren, Mikasa, and Levi. Practically since these three are mostly focused on. I believe Armin is another character you can change to as well whenever you need to protect Eren in his Titan form as he places the gigantic boulder inside the hole of Wall of Maria in Trost District. Not only can you play Attack Mode, but there are Survey Missions you can undertake as well. With Survey Missions you go beyond the walls into Titan territory doing various mission objectives to obtain victory. I really love how Koei Tecmo (creators of Romance of The Three Kingdoms, and Dynasty Warriors series including Warriors Orochi) made this game very much like Dynasty Warriors. Although the fighting mechanics are completely different.

The blades, ODM gear, and gas canisters can be upgraded by collecting parts from Titans. These parts vary based on the type of Titan you were fighting such as the famed Armored Titan, Crystallized Titan ( Which is what Annie has the power to do.), and another Titan type but I will not spoil it for those who haven't seen the anime nor seen Season 2 yet. The weapons in the game vary greatly based on blade length of your swords, durability, and amount which can be carried. In battle you can only carry 4 blades, but some characters have a skill you can unlock to where they carry more items of every type.

Overall I really love the game. There are spoilers to Season 2 in the game, but if you do not want to do those missions. You can always replay the games main storyline, or continue doing Survey Missions which there are quite a few of them. The more Survey areas you clear the more you unlock as these missions progress.

I Feel So Much Better

Honestly, I never felt so healthy and that much better about myself. In North Carolina I did not have anyone to get me started on eating healthier, drinking water everyday, do exercises to recondition my body. I was stuck in this bubble of eating junk food, and frozen foods, drinking sodas everyday. That it just made me feel yucky from putting that stuff in me. I never got that much calcium, iron, Vitamin C etc. I brushed my teeth but my teeth lacked the essential vitamins and minerals they needed to stay strong and not decalcify. But it happened anyway because of everything I ate and would drink daily.

When I was pregnant with my son last year months after moving out here to California. I was already drinking water, watching my diet, adding more protein and omega-3 to my diet, eating fruits and vegetables, occasionally would go eat at a restaurant. I did yoga as well to stretch my muscles out and make them smooth and more flexible. The love of my life was the driving force that helped me not drink liquid crap that could affect my immune system. My son since being home for almost a year now his immune system is very strong thanks to my lifestyle changes. He has been near quite a few sick people, and never caught anything from them. Me and the love of my life never vaccinate ourselves, and we never vaccinated our son when he was born even after he left the hospital. We do not agree with vaccinations. They do not have any all natural substances in them. Which is why we will  not vaccinate. There is stuff in food that isn't good either, and wish that the United States government can ban these unnatural chemicals and additives from the foods we eat. I would rather live in Europe because there is a lot of unnatural chemicals they do not add into food whatsoever.

I feel a lot better drinking water because it filters out all of the chemicals we take into our body everyday. I use to have mild acne. Almost everyday I would have pimples in some parts of my face, and had tons of blackheads. There were a few medicinal creams prescribed to me that I used, but it made my acne a lot worse to where my pimples turned into painful cysts that I could not even pop it hurt like Hell. I discontinued use of those creams because my face took so much damage from that cream. They wanted me to take Acutane but the dermatologist said there were a lot of bad side effects that happened when taking Acutane. Most commercials say that what is in the air clogs our pores. But that is mostly untrue, because what you eat and drink affects your skin. Where I grew up living with my parents the food I ate was not considered healthy, because they were too comfortable eating unhealthy food. My skin was bad the entire time. My blackheads would never go away due to me eating unhealthy food, and never taking in water. Since being here in California in the county of San Diego you need to guzzle down water where you do not dehydrate. I kept drinking water more and more noticing how my face no longer had acne whatsoever. My husband even noticed too that my face is getting clearer. I even looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was getting clearer. He said to keep drinking water that way the rest of the chemicals in my body get flushed out.

As I am writing this blog post right at this very moment. My face is completely clear. I still drink water everyday, but I do get 100% apple juice since it contains a lot of Vitamin C in it. I very very rarely eat anything with sugar in it. Once a month or if someone offers a cupcake or cheesecake I will accept it. Rarely happens but when the offer is given I accept, but I never eat more than I need to. I just eat the one piece. As for my diet it is so much better and a lot healthier. Me and my husband are slowly transitioning into more vegan foods. Our son we just started giving him baby food, and he is getting use to it. For his birthday coming up in two months we plan on doing everything vegan, and those who are at his 1 year birthday party they can bring their own food that they want to eat. Unless they want to eat the vegan food. We plan to have our son eat vegan to where he has an even stronger immune system, has healthy teeth, strong bones and muscles.

Another thing I no longer do that I use to do every day of my life when I was in high school and many months after that. Was use make-up. Anytime I had to go somewhere such as the doctors, dentists office, family gathering. I never went unless make-up was on my face. It was a way to cover up my acne, because it felt like people would stare at my face and not my eyes. Whenever I spoke to them. It made me feel self-conscious when my parents out loud would say "Gosh, look at your face." They completely embarrassed me in public doing this. I rarely went into public after that mostly because my parents they like humiliating people in public. Doesn't matter where, they always did that. Now I enjoy going into public letting people see my face because it looks amazing. Compared to before that is for sure.

Right here in the present I am glad I took the necessary steps to turn my life around. Because if I was still where I lived before then there was not going to be any progress made. The love of my life would be on the other side of the country, and not by my side taking these healthy steps with me. I am very happy with the result of bringing more healthier choices in my life. Now with my son he can be healthier too.

Kind of looking forward to what being vegan is like. :)

Sometimes Why Do I Even Bother?

When I think that someone can tell me anything they end up just not telling me. I open that door wide open letting them know you can share what is on your mind, what you need to tell me. Not just say alright I know I can share anything with you, but then after that they don't. Why do I even bother? Really? Why should I bother letting myself be open to what they need to say? Right time or not. Time has got absolutely nothing to do with telling someone something unless it is a marriage proposal. The thing is they tell me to come to them if ANYTHING bothers me. If something does I will open up and explain it does bother me, and list those reasons why. They become happy how I opened up so much to them, and I expect the same loving gesture in return. I wait, and wait, and wait. Drink something, do my workouts, read a book, and continue waiting. *Crickets chirping* Okay any...minuteeee...... and.... NOTHING.

Literally...

I sit here keeping myself occupied with what I love doing. Still they never come to me and share how they feel, or what they are thinking. Then I wonder "What was the point?", "Why open up if they cannot open up to you?"

Yes, I am still working on not overreacting whenever they share something that can cause me to freak out. Lately it has not happened and I am very proud of myself. Right now I have been taking care of myself by working out lifting weights, doing my stretches, deep breathing and relaxation etc. I feel so much better now that I can take care of myself more than I use to.

Taking care of myself seems more important right now. Than worrying about why someone doesn't share anything with me when they need to. If I am not told I end up finding out another way, and I am like "How can you feel like you cannot tell me this?" I feel as if I am just here to be here. My job is to keep doing my exercises and take care of myself. Keep growing spiritually etc. So that is what I will do from now on. Just focus on taking care of myself. If that person wants to open up to me then fine open up. If not then alright don't be bothered by me taking care of myself. Growing more spiritual everyday.